December 9, 2003

Trying a Stendahl kind of theme with the colors.

Update coming soon!

October 31, 2003

Halloween story is posted at the Academy of Bards. Check out the other authors there as well. And did you notice that the font color is changed in honor of the holiday and autumnal season? What? No? All this redecorating I do and you hardly pay don't bring me flowers, you don't sing me love songs....

September 6, 2003

Courtesy of an avid reader: DIY publishing. I'm waiting for my royalties!

August 19, 2003


July 13, 2003

Presenting: land of 1000 mashes, new on darkbloomiana, and featuring graphic contributions from the fabulous artiste, mashgrrl. If you like the graphics, please drop mashy a note!

June 25, 2003

Ah, memories.

Recently I found a photo of LN & I together, during our wild days in the 80s. We were so young, so reckless, so foolish with the Revlon. The photo was taken during our Second Annual Final Farewell Tour through Europe. We were in Amsterdam, and Henri Cartier Bresson (or was it Richard Avedon?) simply insisted on a photo shoot, and goodness knows we could not resist a genuine maitre like Henri (or Richard), who could cajole such indelible, luminous beauty from us. ("Come on, you whore-tarts, SMILE!" he would say in his charming French--or British--accent. Ah, how we went through his Veuve Cliquot during that session!) Of course, we were very happy then: We were sharing Bjorn (or was it Benny?) and we were on top of the world, sometimes on top of each other (or on top of Bjorn. Or Benny. I just don't recall anymore), and the money, the coke, and pastel ruffled clothing flowed through our fingers like hashish smoke through the gossamer veil of a transvestite belly dancer running away from his pimp.

Okay, okay, I still don't have any more Coup de Grace ready. Satisfied?

May 18, 2003

Boring? Erotic? Erotically boring? Boringly erotic? You decide: A chapter from part VI of Coup de Grace is up.

April 24, 2003

Lovely me! Truly, mashgrrl is my Annie Leibovitz!

April 10, 2003

Information on the April 12 March here.

April 7, 2003

Er, it occurred to me that it might be more practical to put the bloody links up top...

April 5, 2003


Futzing around with the front page a bit. To navigate, use the links below. Also archived old "what's new" stuff.

March 26, 2003

Quote du jour:

"The Americans are forcing even their friends into becoming their enemies. It is curious that the Americans, who calculate so carefully on the possibilities of military victory, do not realize that in the process they are incurring deep psychological and political defeat. The image of America will never again be the image of revolution, freedom and democracy, but the image of violence and militarism."

--Martin Luther King, Jr., on Vietnam, April 4, 1967

March 25, 2003

The world is mess. How anyone thought an invasion of another country would help matters is something that I have completely, utterly failed to comprehend from day one. I think that about sums it up from my pov.

Still, I try to write, if only to keep myself sane. And in the interim I gathered together a bunch of links about the war and placed them on the links page. A couple of 'em I nabbed from Creme Brulee's site. But I'm bettin' she won't mind. However, she has many more links on her page, so if you want to read more head on over & check her out...just don't let Ume catch you doing it!

March 20, 2003

No justice, no peace. Go here.

March 6, 2003

Added lexicon to darkbloomiana.

Peace, Love, and Pork Rolls: Check out Pax Americana, put together by She Who Was Once Known As Ella Quince. It's chock full of links and much interesting info. I mean, I even found a link to Pork Roll Xpress!

Coming soon: All About Mashy.

And more Coup de Grace.

February 20, 2003

Good Lord, it's a record: three entries on the what's new page within the span of a week...and none of them a Coup de Grace update {duck and cover! duck and cover!}. Er, anyway, this announcement is about the Virtual March on Washington Against War in Iraq. Please support the march in any way you can; your voice is important. And besides, President Bartlet is leading the way, so how can it be wrong?

February 19, 2003

Ever wonder if modern technology would exacerbate the navel-gazing, self-absorbed tendencies of our two favorites heroines, Xena and Gabrielle? No? Well, too fucking bad, it's been done anyway:


A Bard's Blog

If you enjoy these blogs, or would like to contribute in any way, please send the hard-working, dedicated evil genius known as miss governal a nice note!

It occurred to me that Mel & Janice blogs would be intriguing, but I fear the sheer amount of obscenity in the latter would prompt angry flotsam from sensitive souls and religious freaks.

February 14, 2003

Almost a day late, definitely a dollar short: A sort of Valentine's Day story.

January 24, 2003

Move On, Democracy in Action

Not In Our Name

December 28, 2002

Added delirium tremens to darkbloomiana. And did I mention that part 5 of Coup is up? Like the prodigal son who wrecks the car and steals daddy's credit cards but remembers grandma's birthday card, I can't emphasize that enough, sweeties!

December 21, 2002

Get out the spiked egg nog: Part 5 (more or less) of Coup de Grace is up. Merry Christmas and all that!

November 26, 2002

Mmmmm, the only kinda salad Aunty Vivvy loves is back: GROOVE SALAD, from soma-fm!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

November 20, 2002

Updated links, will probably add "delirium" story to the site in the next couple of days, although the link below to the Academy is still good to go.

October 31, 2002

Halloween story is up at the Royal Academy of Bards Extravaganza; check out the other stories while you're there.

October 18, 2002

Good evening. I'm Diana Rigg. Welcome to Mystery.

Tonight we feature the ongoing saga of authoress vivian darkbloom. When last we encountered vivian, she was grappling with the angst-ridden saga Coup de Grace and struggling to avoid what she termed "like, a serious if only psychic ass-kicking" from the saga's ill-tempered yet imaginary heroine, one Janice Covington. Simultaneously, she was anticipating the arrival of the baseball postseason and dawdling over a Halloween story that, curiously enough, lacked suspense. When fate intervened and cut short the postseason of the pitching-challenged New York Yankees, vivian once again harnessed her considerable powers of procrastination to focus on writing--but, naturally, was distracted yet again, this time by the mysterious and talented personage of mashgrrl. "Mashy," as she is known to the girls down at La Bar Muff, endeavored to entice vivian into writing a trashy pirate epic by producing this.

Will vivian be fatally tempted into writing the compelling saga of adventure on the high seas and romance between a time-traveling oboeist for the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra and a pirate queen with an irrational hatred of dolphins and a seachest filled with both gold bullion and an unimaginable array of sex toys? Perhaps. And will she finish the Halloween story in time for the sacred holiday? One hopes. Stay tuned.

September 1, 2002

Another autumn, and a new "what's new" pinup-girl. Hello, gorgeous!

August 14, 2002

Cleaning up & organizing the links page a bit, will probably add more stuff there over the next couple of days.

July 18, 2002

Added new counter to front page since the old one is on the verge of becoming obsolete, thank you India, thank you AOL, thank you Netscape. Also fixed link to Yo La Tengo. The new link takes you directly to the website that the band put together themselves (or hired someone to, maybe). Anyway, it is worth checking out because they have the cutest little graphic on the front page, I swear!

July 9, 2002

The "Will Wonders Never Cease?" Department, Part II: the first two chapters of Coup de Grace's part V are up.

July 8, 2002

From the "Will Wonders Never Cease?" Department: A very nice lady named Isabella has translated "Her Majesty" into Greek! Yes, Greek! You can find the story here. The website that hosts it also offers other works of fiction and features in Greek, so check it out. Thanks to Isabella for translating the story.

Additional thanks go out to the lovely Swollen Bud folks who presented "Venezia" with an award recently, as well as MaryD, who bestowed a Xippy upon "Appetite." Their generosity--as well as the time & effort they put into doing what they do--is very much appreciated.

July 2, 2002

Don't get excited: Just updated story notes & farted around with the design here and there.

June 24, 2002

If you've been listening to me rant about internet radio...well, the Library of Congress has made its decision. While the proposed royalty fees are half of what the RIAA originally requested, they are still very high and unfortunately a lot of great stations like Soma FM were forced to suspend service. Please keep in mind that the artists themselves DO NOT SEE A DIME OF THIS MONEY THAT THE RIAA IS REQUESTING. If you're interested in continuing to support the internet radio community, go to live365 or here. And now I'll shut up about it.

June 19, 2002

Covington for Sale...if you want to buy her wares, go to Ebay if you dare...

June 1, 2002

As I write this, it's actually May 31. But...I like fanfic in June, how about you? Yes, that's right: Praise the Lord and pass the bourbon, Part IV of Coup de Grace is up! And if you are real nice and say semi-nice things to me (even if it's "Holy shit, Viv, you even put the kitchen sink into this freaking part"), I may have a little of Part V up by the end of the month.

May 17, 2002

Added palm pilot version of Appetite.

May 4, 2002

Fixed link to BLURB on the links page.

Internet radio is still in trouble. Go here for more info.

April 28, 2002

I think by now we have established, with bounteous certitude, the fact that I am very, very lame. I am still not finished with part 4 of Coup de Grace. I know you all hate me, sort of in the way Yankees fans used to hate Chuck Knoblauch. You want me to do better and not throw into the stands and hit Keith Oberman's grandma. Still. Here we are once again, I'm typing this, you're reading it and thinking "LAME!" Or, if you are LN James (for I must invoke the name of my hero in my defense) you are sipping your Red Bull martini and caressing the cabana girl's behind while sadly shaking your head and murmuring, "vivvy, vivvy, vivvy."

Will you accept a bribe, dear readers? Will that buy me more time? Then try this.

April 9, 2002

Okay. So the April Fool's story, written at the charming behest of the kind peoples at The Royal Academy of Bards, is now here in Darkbloomiana. Blah blah blah vivvycakes.

And I'm really, really sorry that the latest bit of Coup is not up...the muses are constipated! (See, the very existence of the previous sentence should indicate to you that something is terribly amiss.) But I keep plugging away...or perhaps "plugging" is an unfortunate way of putting it, given the muses' condition.

April 1, 2002

Soulmates Up the Wazoo!

March 6, 2002

Help save the future of independent internet radio! Go to these sites and do what you can:

Radio Paradise

And good old soma fm!

Remember, kids, SOMA FM HELPS AUNTIE VIVVY WRITE! It's not just done on pizza, wine, and the threat of blackmail photos, you know!

February 22, 2002

The latest from Lame Brain Central...fixed a minor typo in the story notes while adding a very minor factoid there as well. And I'm frittering away at part 4 of Coup.

January 14, 2002

Updated story notes.

January 9, 2002

Happy New Year...and here's a snippet of Coup's part 4.

And, in an effort to put a truly lousy year behind us, archived old "What's New" crap in the archive.

December 21, 2001

Dear readers, I have been remiss. I was hoping to get in an update on "Coup" before the holidays, and I know I have said as much to those who have written me about this story in the past couple months. So I must both apologize and thank you all for your patience. Next month should see part 4 of the story being posted, so do stay tuned. Happy holidays to all!

November 27, 2001

Added palm pilot version of High Road.

October 31, 2001

Ooooh, kids, scary: a new white trash story!

October 29, 2001


It has been a hell of a couple weeks. Many people far more eloquent than I have made commentary both moving and astute on the events of September 11 and beyond, so I will spare you all my pontificating. For while everything has changed, and we wind our way through a world going rapidly to hell in a handbasket, we still need to laugh. In fact, it seems we need to do this more than ever. Which is why I'll have a new story up on Halloween. Don't worry, the only scary thing about it is the fact that it ever got written. I am Franken-fucking-stein, baby!

September 24, 2001

"If my faith burns bright, as I hope it will even if I stand alone, I shall be alive in the grave, and what is more, speaking from it."


August 27, 2001

Added yet another link...and, as God is mah witness, working on a story.

July 23, 2001

I'm on a roll: Added a snippet of palaver about "The Secret Histories" in the Story Notes section. And "All the Colors" won another freakin' award! So maybe it really doesn't suck as bad as I, anyway, my thanks to Sapphic Warrior for the award, which is here.

July 19, 2001

Added some new links.

June 27, 2001

Fixed a few minor typos in part 3 of "Coup," added a palm pilot version for those of you who want to ruin your precious eyesight!

June 26, 2001

I'm happy to report that LN James has been spotted in Monte Carlo.

I'm up to Wyoming now in my sweater vest project. The finger cramps are unbelievable.

And part 3 of "Coup de Grace" is up.

May 29, 2001

Last night I was crocheting some sweater vests for homeless terriers in Rhode Island (I've been working my way through the states in alphabetical order) when the phone rang. It was my role model, Miss LN James! (Like Shirley Bassey, she just needs that title slapped in front of her name! And an exclamation point too!) "Vivvy, darling, I'm calling from Biarritz. I think Kristy McNichol is stalking me again. So I must speak quickly--time is of the essence."

"What is it you have tell me, Miss James?" I asked breathlessly.

"Well, sweetie, you know how you write slower than molasses on a snowball?"


"I was thinking that perhaps you could post a nice little chunk of Coup de Grace, just to tide us over while you're farting around with the remainder of part 3."

" know what a pathetic perfectionist dweeb I am! I couldn't possibly--"

"Vivvy, if you don't do it, I'll put the photos on my website."

Suddenly there was a loud crash, and a horrible, pleading cry: "BUDDY!" Then the line went dead. So while Interpol investigates Miss James's abrupt disappearance, I offer a lame little chunk of Coup, for those of you who have been patient with me.

May 2, 2001

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on?

March 12, 2001

gov put a yummy photo in darkbloomiana. And you thought she was all girl-next-door, just because she writes about nuns....

March 2, 2001

Fixed a Venetian boo-boo in part deux of Coup, just for Beezelbub.

Oh, and from the "All the Conspiracies of the World" Department: "All the Colors" won kudos from both here and here. My thanks to the webmasters of these sites, and to all those who voted.

January 29, 2001

From the "I've Always Depended Upon the Kindness of Medievalists" Department: gov did a cool redesign of the front page!

January 16, 2001

Happy New Year! Here's part 2 of "Coup de Grace," to celebrate.

December 22, 2000

Sweetie darlings, it's time for Auntie Viv to get all mushycakes on you: Happy Chanukah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Humphrey Bogart's Birthday/Whatever. I have been naughty and not gotten you all a present, but since you are all so nice (truly, you all rule, thank you for reading), I know you'll forgive me and I'll wake up Xmess morning with lots of Veuve Clicquot under the tree!

December 5, 2000

Updated darkbloomiana and the Links. I know you're thinking, "Big fucking deal, lame brain, why aren't you writing?" (Well, at least that's what I'm thinking.) Patience, grasshopper. Patience.

November 1, 2000

So you may have guessed...what's new is now what's old, and a-moldering in the what's new archive.

Also updated the Story Notes section.

October 31, 2000


September 22, 2000

Okay, a new story is up. You can either consider it uber or my bid to become a staff writer for a David E. Kelley series (as a certain beloved snark maintains). Hey, would you watch "Ally McBeal" if I were writing it?

September 13, 2000

I am lame, hear me roar!

Yeah, not many updates lately, sorry about that. But I have that ever-legitimate, ever-annoying excuse of Real Life. Anyway, I was visited by the Palm Pilot Fairy (actually, the Palm Pilot Lesbian) who, in an effort to make this site the source of "All Things Darkbloom," has converted my stories into .pdb files so that you can read them on the palm utility of your choice, and so that you can walk down the street reading, say, "Coup de Grace" while talking on your cell phone and listening to your mp3 player and when you get to the end of part 1 you'll be like, "Where's the rest of it?" and won't realize you're standing in the middle of traffic, where you'll get hit by a big Urban Fetch truck. So, if you want to risk that, the Palm Pilot links are at the beginning of each story. We now return you to your regularly scheduled morality tale.

July 31, 2000

Updated the Links page. Well, it's just a teeny-tiny addition, but, like a hairstyle, it is so very, very important. And looky, we have a new counter too!

Plus I'm trying to write. Really.

July 24, 2000

Evidence of the existence of Satan can be seen, quite clearly, in the real estate market of New York City. Trust me on this.

July 14, 2000

Mes enfants, je wishez-vous Un Bastille Day Joyeux. Non, vraiment! Excusez-moi la francais de merde du Darkbloom. Au revoir!

June 22, 2000

Fixed an error on the Links page (thank you, Javascript Goddess), and added the Xippy Award, given to the White Trash Series, to Darkbloomiana (thank you, MaryD).

June 20, 2000

Added some Links to Darkbloomiana, as well as a Swollen Bud Award, given to the White Trash Series. I suppose that, technically, the Award should go on the White Trash page but Darkbloomiana looked so forlorn and lonely, so...there you go. Many thanks to the Swollen Buddites! (Not to be confused with the Swollen Luddites...I don't know, maybe it's the shoes they wear...)

May 23, 2000

I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that I've never really said I knew what I was doing. And I'm not ashamed to say the roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry.

May 22, 2000

Farting around with the graphics a bit. All graphics are courtesy of My Personal Graphics Goddess. I dance in her honor--I am Salome! I lay tribute at her feet! I play "Fernando" on the kazoo--ONLY FOR HER!

May 12, 2000

Did I mention that the whole "Story Notes" concept was the idea of LN James? Well, it is, and I am very grateful to her. (It was also her idea to create a yogurt container with a little spoon in the lid! Yes, that was her, you can thank her later.)

I will probably add more things to the Story Notes as I remember things that might be of interest to readers. Or I might not, if I don't remember anything. But don't worry, I'll tell you if I update it...

May 11, 2000

Added a Story Notes section to Darkbloomiana.

April 27, 2000

That old Jool-yet. She sure is a firecracker, ain't she?

Added the new, improved, revised version of All the Colors of the World. Hopefully, all typos and errors have been fixed . (Thank you, O Strine Beta Goddess!) More significantly, new scenes have been added (including a new ending), and old scenes slashed--mostly the Xena/Gab scenes. You may ask why....Well, I thought the story would be better without them, frankly, and with the focus primarily on Mel/Janice; in that fashion it follows the overall style of the other stories in the series. I hope, dear readers, that you'll like it. And if not, well, nanny-nanny boo-boo. I'm the bard. (As opposed to my dear comrade LN James, who is THE BARD. And who outed me as a numismaniac on her site, but that's another story. Maybe she's's time to STOP LIVING THE LIE!)

April 20, 2000

Hah. Mah name is Jool-yet Lewis and I am the special guest updater for the Whut's New Page today. Miz Darkbloom done axed me to send a big howdy and thank you to y'all who have stopped by and sent nice notes and all that. She's a-spendin' Passover in Detox, Missouri. Or at least that's what she told me.

Any old way, Ah will be playin' Gab-ri-elle in the film version of "Love and Death in the Trailer Park" an' I'm gonna dye my hair an' work on mah abs an' everything! Gus Van Sant is s'posed to direct, and we might even get that cute little Chad Lowe, fresh from his triumph of playin' John Denver in a CBS TV movie, to be Purdy! How 'bout that!

The only problem is we ain't cast Zina yet. If worse comes to worse it might be Sandra Bullock in platform shoes. Bye for now, y'all, and come back again real soon!

April 15, 2000

Today is my sweetheart's birthday. Happy birthday, honey!

April 14, 2000

Hello, gorgeous!

Thank you for visiting. I'm afraid there's not much really new. So I'll tell you about the most recent additions. First, part 1 of the latest story, "Coup de Grace," is up. Second, there is a revised version of "Love and Death in the Trailer Park." However, the revisions to this story are pretty minor--basically, I just fixed typos and rewrote some of the clunkier sentences.

And finally, "All the Colors of the World" is not on the site at the moment, because it's undergoing serious revisions. I'm hoping it will be up in the next couple of weeks.

So that's it for now...

April 12, 2000

Today is the first chalupa of the rest of my life.